Bad Traits

I have some really bad traits.
I'm not talking about smoking, heavy drinking, or cutting myself; I don't do any of those.

Pre-Cognition:
Sort of like to Nicolas Cage's character in NEXT, but less cool. Whenever I have free time, I have conversations in my head and 'plan' my possible responses and reactions. I don't even realize that I'm doing it most of the time. I always stop it before my mind wanders too far into a conversation, but sometimes I feel like a nut job. I suppose that's why I have a zombie infection plan, sudden loss of gravity plan and a 'my neighbor is a crazed axe murderer who is coming after me' plan.

OCD-esque organization:
Everyone likes to be organized, but sometimes I take it too far. It drives me crazy when my music library has even the most minor of errors. iTunes, which I only use because 3rd party iPod (got my iPod for Christmas) managers are too buggy, has an annoying 'feature' since v7.3 that sorts numbers at the end of the alphabet. I still use v7.2 for this reason.
Sometimes, I go through a folder of images and sort them either into folders or I indivitually tag each image. I is an enormous waste of time and energy.

I'm 'Shy':
I'm not really shy, I just use it as a reasoning for me being too reluctant to go hang out with friends. This has sabotaged my entire life. I can count the number of 'true' friends I have on one hand (excluding my Central friends). It's not that I'm anti-social or super wierd, in fact, most people have nothing really bad to say about me (that I know of). In high school, I could have gotten away with hanging with the 'jocks' and the 'nerds', the 'popular kids' and the 'loners'. People like me, I like people; I don't get it...

I'm a total loser when it come to women:
Many guys have this problem, but I'm hindered even more by the fact that I'm a geek, I'm overweight, and I'm not the most handsome guy around (although I don't believe I'm ugly).


My resolution for 2009 is to do something about these, not necessarily to eliminate these traits, just to change what I can. This new blog is an attempt to attack the 'Shy' trait, breaking down some of the barriers and let people in. I'm also contemplating tracking my weight, that would help attack the 'loser' trait by redirecting my OCD trait. All of these should raise my self esteem, help me make more friendships, and eat up some of my spare time to attack the Pre-Cog trait.


Thanks for reading, it takes alot to spill deep thoughts out.
I'm Awesome™