State of the Blog

So I've slowed down to one blog a month, and I don't like that. I'm going ot try and do better.

Warning, this post contains alot of me complaining about stuff in my life and I stay fairly vague about the actual problems.


I've realized that I only have the urge to make a blog post when something in my life is really bugging me. This is causing most of my blog posts to become a list of complaints with myself, the people around me, or the world.

I suppose this is because in real life I'm 'the listener' (no relation to that one show) not 'the talker'. I spend my day listening to others and provide what input I can. Also, you know all those little 'huge problems' most people get? Yeah, I don't get those. Life is too short for all that bullshit, when faced with those problems I decide on a solution and fix it right then and there. The problems that I deal with are deep character and moral problems, the kind of problems that can really change a person. They just roll around in my head until one day something manages to eek into my thought process and everything grinds to a halt in my head. I become obsessed with the issue for what could be days. Usually I have to spend hours alone just mulling it over in my head, but it's best if I have someone to open up to and maybe bounce thoughts off of.

Unfortunately, I don't really open up to others about my issues because very few make me feel safe. There used to be one person that was always there, but time and space has caused us to drift apart almost to a point where we don;t know each other. There is a new person that makes me feel safe enough, but due to other issues I can't completely open up. Maybe in the future, but right now it's not happening.

I've been thinking a lot since finishing my freshman year (WOO HOO!!), and no matter what way I approach my chain of issues, it all becomes a cyclical problem. Solving any one of them requires another to be solved and provides the solution for another. *sigh* If I wasn't a 'godless abomination to our family', according to my crazy relatives, I could pray for a miracle. But I can't with all honesty and must find a soluton on my own.


Later,
D

PS: If you haven't noticed, I'm a fan of commas. I started writing from an early age and locked in certian habits. Not entirely sure how well I follow the 'rules', but there haven't been many complaints.